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God knows their mother never buys them anything nice. Thank you so much for the birthday flowers, dear boy.

I've sent along my last ten pounds in this card, which I hope you'll spend on my grandchildren.

Sophia says, "As an Italian mother, I put on a fierce look and say to Primo, if you dont finish your meal, Im going to kill you.

It works most of the time."Freda had long been suspicious of a relationship between Henry and Debbie and this had only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, Freda started to wonder if there was more between Henry and Debbie than met the eye.

Reading his mum's thoughts, Henry said, "I know what you must be thinking, mum, but I assure you Debbie and I are just roommates."About a week later, Debbie said to Henry "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. " Henry replied "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: Dear Mother, I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle.

Almost a year later, Lionel rings his mother and tells her that they are expecting a baby.

His mother doesnt slam down the phone but says, very politely and unemotionally, "Thats nice, son, Im happy for you both."Eight months later, Lionel again rings his mother and says, "Mum, I just want to say that last night my wife gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy.

"Oh Lionel, bubbeleh, this is wonderful news," she cries, "I've been waiting for this moment all my life.

I'm also getting used to the cold since they turned my heat off and am grateful because the frost on my bed numbs the constant pain.

Now don't you even think about sending any more money, because I know you need it for those expensive family holidays you take every year.

But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Dear Son, I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Debbie, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Debbie.

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